tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1320046297313453232.post189786760408502560..comments2022-01-22T01:15:27.341-07:00Comments on Against the Wall: Bloodied, bruised, but not beaten...Clive Durhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13429000026909551119noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1320046297313453232.post-10330887830210459392011-08-22T22:31:12.932-06:002011-08-22T22:31:12.932-06:00Loved what Scott had to add to this post.Loved what Scott had to add to this post.Bennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01056781938442527848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1320046297313453232.post-39761579003917589342011-08-03T05:19:58.657-06:002011-08-03T05:19:58.657-06:00Clive - His comment is reflective of where HE is a...Clive - His comment is reflective of where HE is at, and he is projecting his own inadequacies and issues upon you. Don't buy it. This comment says volumes about HIM, not "gay live."Invictus Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15961213460164925021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1320046297313453232.post-437831764215684912011-08-02T21:22:49.895-06:002011-08-02T21:22:49.895-06:00I don't buy it. Not one bit. Don't give up...I don't buy it. Not one bit. Don't give up. I know people who are in committed same-sex relationships that have persisted years (won't it be nice when we can just call them marriages/relationships). It's always hard, gay or straight. But hard doesn't mean impossible.Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13589508168777037793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1320046297313453232.post-11127049795255012872011-08-02T21:19:18.358-06:002011-08-02T21:19:18.358-06:00It's both. There are going to be men who for ...It's both. There are going to be men who for whatever reason will not/cannot commit.<br /><br />I however just celebrated my 12th anniversary with my partner.Scottnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1320046297313453232.post-56090980969025137642011-08-02T21:06:09.546-06:002011-08-02T21:06:09.546-06:00"Is his comment cynical or an accurate portra...<i>"Is his comment cynical or an accurate portrayal of the typical gay man’s life?"</i><br /><br />Yes. :)<br /><br />Gay guys aren't any less capable of committing to a relationship than straight ones. ...Which is to say that they aren't, in general, very good at it—but they can manage it if they really want to.<br /><br />The difference is this: Women <i>are</i> better at long-term commitment (and know that I'm speaking in generalities here, and that there are men who are good at commitment and women who aren't). So a straight relationship has a better chance of lasting longer, because there's a good chance that at least one half of it is going to not only try herself to make it work, but also to hold him accountable and insist that he do the same.<br /><br />A coule of guys, on the other hand, are more likely to be realistic, and to feel less obligation to keep things going when perhaps that's not clearly the best thing to do.<br /><br />On the one hand, that means gay relationships don't tend to last as long as straight ones (and again, there <i>are</i> exceptions). But on the other hand, it also means that gay guys are more likely to remain friends after a breakup (because they ended things while it was still possible to remain friends, rather than hanging on until that was no longer an option).<br /><br />Yes, this is a cynical view. I also think it's fairly realistic. And I <i>don't</i> believe it contradicts the notion that "there is in our natures an imperative that cries out for a partner with whom we can shoulder the joys and the trials of a full and fulfilling life."<br /><br />... It just means that that shouldering of joys might not be with the same person "until death do us part".<br /><br />Personally, I'm okay with that...<br /><br />I <i>want</i> a guy who can share my joys and my burdens. I <i>want</i> a guy who I can go to bed with and wake up next to... One who I know I can rely on for physical presence and emotional support and mental stimulation and romantic companionship. <br /><br />I even want a guy to whom I can say "I love you and I will give my all to our relationship, so that together we can be something more than the sum of our individual selves".<br /><br />... But I'm realistic (or cynical, if you prefer) to recognize that I <i>can't</i> guarantee that our paths will always parallel each other's—that there may come a day (9 months later? 9 years later? 99 years later?) when we are no longer capable of that synergy. If/when that day comes, I hope that we can both recognize it, and redefine our relationship however necessary so that we can remain as close as friends as we possibly can...<br /><br />...and then I hope that I can find another guy to share another portion of my life with.Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16057695326304070182noreply@blogger.com