Conundrum: A paradoxical or insoluble problem

Last Sunday I had an interesting meeting with my bishop. It’s the first time since I moved into the ward last August that he has visited with me. All in all, he was kind and supportive. If tears are any sign, he shed more than a few as I shared the story of my life. He also admitted candidly that he had no conception of the hell I must have navigated to remain married to a good woman, raise five children who each served missions, graduated from BYU and were married in the temple, while myself serving faithfully for so long.

He even expressed empathy for the difficult position in which I now find myself—a man who desires to maintain some connection with the Church while at the same time remaining committed to finding a partner of my gender with whom I can ultimately marry and spend my life.

This bishop was sensitive about my position but direct in its implications. If I choose to continue coming to church, he said, I will be excommunicated. If I just fade into the neighborhood with no overt affiliation with the ward, my church membership will remain intact.