On the death of my friend's partner...

I have a friend who lost her partner last week.

She and her partner lived together, laughed together, worked together, ate together, drank together, celebrated together, sorrowed together, planned together, volunteered together, traveled together, served together, played together, and made love together.

Together they found joy.

But now my friend is alone. Grieving.

God said, "It is not good for man[kind] to be alone."

My bishop told me that if I want to remain a Saint in good standing, I must live alone, laugh alone, work alone, eat alone, drink alone, celebrate alone, sorrow alone, plan alone, volunteer alone, travel alone, serve alone, play alone. And at night I must remain alone....

God said, “Men are that they might have joy.”

Is it possible for men to find joy, alone? Perhaps...

But even God has a companion.

Sex and Intimacy: The need for a helpmeet (redux)

Early in my blog, I posted an essay about being a gay married Latter-day Saint and the need for intimacy. Much has happened in my life since I prepared that original post and with those experiences come a deeper understanding and appreciation of the issue. I am no longer married, my ties with Church doctrine are less dogmatic, and as a result, my view of sexual fidelity and Christian faith has changed somewhat. Regardless, the core concerns I raised in my original post still exist.

For any gay man who craves male intimacy, the question of fidelity is always a nagging issue. Specifically, when does intimacy move from perfectly permissible to pressing the boundaries to actually crossing that sometimes not so indelible line? This is particularly difficult if the gay man is an active Latter-day Saint with the traditional moral scruples ingrained by Church teaching.

The need for a helpmeet...

For a married gay man who craves male intimacy, the question of fidelity is always a nagging issue. Specifically, when does intimacy move from perfectly permissible to pressing the boundaries to actually crossing that sometimes not so indelible line? This is particularly difficult if the married gay man is an active Latter-day Saint with the traditional moral scruples ingrained by Church teaching.

The easy answer is the one to which most heterosexual church members adhere--any interaction between two men beyond a good conversation, a handshake or an occasional hug is entirely impermissible. For heterosexuals, that is an easy answer, but for those of us who are gay, the reality is much more complex.