Josh Weed and mixed orientation marriages

Since last evening, I've received a number of messages from people asking for my opinion about last night's Nightline interview of Josh and Lolly Weed. Here is my response to those requests: 

Candidly, I was greatly disappointed…and not because I didn't get air time... :-)

The problem with the interview is that at 10 years of marriage, I was Josh Weed. I know that many of you were also Josh Weed when you were young. Our wives were Lolly. Like Josh and Lolly, we were confident, idealistic, and devoted.

 But, the simple truth is that it becomes more difficult to sustain that confidence and commitment as time passes.

It's interesting that the two poster boys of MOMs, Josh Weed and Ty Mansfield, are both young and relatively inexperienced. Where are the men and women who have been in MOMs for 20, 30, or 40 years? Most of us are divorced and readily acknowledge that our devotion was misspent.

My former wife knew I was gay from nearly the beginning. We built what appeared to others to be the perfect Mormon marriage despite the fact that we were in an MOM. In the end, our marriage wasn't perfect and the pain and heartache we endured to maintain the charade was horrendous. WE DO NOT WANT THAT FOR ANYONE ELSE.

Since coming out I have met countless men who tell the same story, even more men who continue in sham marriages while engaging in promiscuity and deceit. I've met heartbroken faithful women who wonder, "Why me?"

This is the real story of mixed orientation marriages that should be told.

For every happy Josh and Lolly who are still at the beginning of their lives, there are hundreds of men and women who, burdened with pain, anguish, and loneliness, wish they would have done things differently.

I wish Josh and Lolly nothing but the best. At the same time, I recognize the sad truth that mixed orientation marriages are by their nature, fatally flawed, no place for a heterosexual Mormon woman or man...no place for my children.

Those of us who find this situation so reprehensible are not filled with antipathy or anger toward Josh and Lolly. It's just that at the other end of life, we've touched the stove and have been burned severely. As a result, we feel it our obligation to warn others not to touch the stove.

Another rant against MOM's and Elder Packer's false teachings...

It's been nearly three weeks since my last post and I hadn't had the urge to write during that entire period. A close friend of mine recently posted a series of essays that resulted in a number of responses by those who tend to believe and espouse vociferously the gospel according to Evergreen International, a gospel that is based on lies, distortions and false hope.

After reading a series of lengthy responses from a young man who calls himself "A Peculiar Light," I could stay quiet no longer. Below is my response to APL's ongoing argument.

"Young men like APL are not just frustrating. They are DANGEROUS.

An anniversary dinner with my former wife...

Last Saturday my former wife and I had dinner together, the first time in several months. It was our wedding anniversary and so we thought that sharing an evening out would be appropriate--a time to celebrate the wonderful years we enjoyed together and the fruit of those years, our children.

The meal was cordial and the discussion candid, but as the evening wore on it was clear that rather than enjoy each other's company, we were merely enduring. After only an hour or two, my wife suggested that she still needed to do some shopping and so it would be best to call it an early evening. Honestly, I was relieved.

Since our separation and divorce, now six months behind us, much has happened in our lives.