Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Today is my anniversary.
Two years ago today I decided that it was time to take the leap, time to crack the closet door, time to let a little fresh air into what had become my dark and stifling existence. Two years ago today I made the decision to step into a world that had beckoned for a lifetime, yet seemed a lifetime away.
Two years ago today I resolved to come out, to leave pretense and affectation behind me, and accept with all the ramifications and consequences life as a gay man.
That decision was the best decision I ever made. Although the transition from the straight world to a bent one was at times intimidating if not frightening, it was also enervating and enlightening. By facing my fears and realizing that in the end, there was actually nothing to fear, I found peace and I became a better man.
While my decision to live an honest life left no small share of shock and heartbreak in its wake, it became a force unto itself that propelled me forward as only inertia can.
And I continue to move forward.
My life today is not what I imagined it would be two years ago. As with all things of value, there is a price that must be paid for living with integrity. The investment, however, has had incredible returns.
I can breathe freely and live without fear. I can be a whole man, complete and unencumbered. I can finally fulfill the measure of my creation as God desires for all of his children.
I understand the meaning of joy.