Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The big word "BUT"

How many times have you heard some well meaning Mormon say something like "I love gay men, BUT I will NEVER condoned their actions." Or, "I've always made it very clear to my gay friends that I love them, BUT I don't support they're lifestyle."

When I was young, I learned something that has stayed with me my entire life...a little insight into English grammar. I learned that when we use "but" in a sentence, we in fact negate everything we have said before the "but".

When we say "I love gay men" and then say "but", we are in fact saying that we really don't love "gay men" unless it's on our terms. 

It's interesting that in all the words of Christ, he never made a statement that was followed by "but". He never said, "Love thy neighbor, but..." He simply said "Love thy neighbor."

The problem with many today is that they insist that relationships and approval are granted on their terms with a HUGE "but" conspicuously hanging in the middle. This seems especially true when dealing with LGBT issues.

I don't think Christ or His Father would be too pleased.


  1. So when friends ask why I'm not close with my brother and I say "I love him, but he's a jerk," am I saying I don't really love him unless he stops being a jerk / stops doing the things I find jerky?

    I think the way I'm using "but," and probably the way a lot of Mormons-talking-about-gays mean it, is that the two statements appear incompatible, but both are nevertheless true.

    I love my brother regardless of his jerkiness. But that doesn't make his jerkiness untrue or irrelevant.


  2. Indeed.. me too being a third person doesn't mean you are fake. As we all know most of them are true folks compare to others. So just accept them as a human being.