Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Hey, guys! Cosmo is queer!

BYU is rife with homophobia. So much so that a bit of hand-holding, a simple kiss, or a casual comment about homosexuality can result in immediate suspension or even expulsion.

The big secret around BYU, Cougar fans, is that the number one cat on campus, Cosmo, is actually gay. (Before you write me a disparaging email for outing Cosmo, let me freely admit that I know outing a closeted gay man teeters on the edge of immorality. But folks, Cosmo's not a man. He's a cat. My conscience is clear!)

I was suspicious the first time I saw Cosmo the Cougar run onto the field way back when. He gave off more than a subtle vibe--his prancing gait, the ever so slightly bent tip of his swooshing tail, his obvious devotion to grooming and product all were subtle signs that Cosmo may not be batting for the home team. The giveaway, however, was the fact that when the boys took the field, his eyes lingered on those broad shoulders and narrow hips just a bit too long and his excitement was just a wee more obvious than that of the typical male fan--if you know what I mean...

So I've had my suspicions for years, but no proof--until today.

Browsing the gay videos on YouTube (I love the gay videos on YouTube), I finally got the evidence I needed to prove what I'd known all along.

It just so happens, Cosmo (who, like my roomy, went to France on his mission) has been doing French television commercials on the side to earn a bit of scratch. And what kind of commercials does Cosmo make? Let's say they contain more than just a little man-on-man--"interaction"(?).

You be the judge, but if I were Cosmo, I'd be shivering in the corner of my closet right now. (I can't wait to hear what the Honor Code Office has to say about this...)

1 comment:

  1. I guess this brings new meaning to the that phrase in the BYU fight song 'rise and shout the Cougars are out'...we can now blame Clive for the outing part.