Tuesday, March 1, 2011

My partner and a TBM update...

At the beginning of the year in a contemplative moment, I wrote a description of my future partner. A friend calls it my shopping list. I prefer to think of it as a description of the man who is searching for me.

This man and I, I think, are both wandering, seeking, wondering when our paths will intersect and our lives made one. We both know it will happen and are willing to let time be our guide. In the end, we are confident all will be well.

My partner is a kind man, gentle, bright, open and direct. He has traditional values and a commitment to monogamy. He is outgoing, a people person, adventurous, with a love of the outdoors.

He is handsome and fit with a smile that radiates from inside out. He is as comfortable in a tux as he is in jeans.

Although he might not be active, he has resolved any anger/bitterness issues he may have harbored towards the LDS Church.

He is willing to talk for hours about important things and things of no consequence. He appreciates intimacy as much as sex, and is comfortable sharing heart to heart.

Finally and most importantly, he finds joy in giving and receiving love completely.

I'm glad I made this list in January before emotion and desire clouded my judgment. Recently, my life has taken an interesting turn.

For those of you who follow my blog, you remember that I have written on a couple of occasions about The Butterfly Man--the first guy in a year who made those butterflies in my chest take flight (see 2/19 post "Maybe I will fall in love..."). As things have evolved over the last several weeks, TBM and I have spent time together with fair regularity...and the more time I spend with him, the more intrigued I become.

Oddly, he seems like someone I've always known.

It will be interesting to see how long these butterflies caged in my chest will continue to flutter and dance with my heart. Regardless, it's beautiful just to know that for now they are alive and well and that I can enjoy their dance as long as it lasts.

Then after a time if it's necessary, I'll rest quietly for a while at the side until those butterflies, beautiful and light, dance again.

Life is good.

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