Monday, January 30, 2012

Inclusion or exclusion...what's a gay guy to do?

Last Saturday night, I was enjoying myself at Jam with a group of friends. (Jam for you out-of-towners is perhaps Salt Lake City’s finest gay dance club. It’s definitely a cool venue.) By midnight the building was packed and a long line of fairies and fags was waiting to enter. (Fire regulations limit the number of people the club can admit at any given time.)

As I was leaving, I passed an acquaintance who was standing near the end of the line. He wanted to talk and so I stopped to chat and was somewhat taken aback by the content and tone of his comments.

“It’s ridiculous,” he complained, “that I have to stand in the cold to get into a gay club. And why do I have to stand in line? Because of all the straight people who think it’s cool to dance with gay guys. I ask you, Clive, can’t we have someplace that’s just for us?”

I know my friend was tired and a little uncomfortable. He was probably blowing off steam. But, he made me think.

Because we have been victims of exclusion for most of our lives, we fairy folk generally find inclusion a driving force. We have a difficult time fencing people out, setting boundaries.

On the other hand, is it unfair to ask, “Can’t we have someplace that’s just for us?”


  1. Um, Clive:

    Not sure if this is the answer you're looking for but if we expect to have full inclusion in all places of society, the same principle should work the other way of the reasons I LOVE to go to this place is because everyone is allowed to let go, dance like no one is watching (even though we're all watching each other!), I can dance close to my partner with and even others, kiss him even and not feel self-conscious.

    Is it any wonder the straight crowds beat each other to get in? I'm sure it isn't because of the AMF (drinks!). Personally think that if I want to be able to dance and enjoy myself I should just get there earlier! :-)


  2. If there were a "gays only" club, how would you be able to tell the difference between gay and straight? I know I had my Gay ID Card revolked because I didn't fit the sterotype (just kidding). Plus the Jam isn't that big and there are a LOT of gays in SLC.

  3. Heart touching pics for dancing floor. good sharing and nice details share so thanks