Tuesday, January 17, 2012

To blog or not to blog...that is the question

It’s been a long time since my last post…primarily because I thought that I’d really said all that I needed to say about being a gay Mormon man, that I felt I’d moved to a point in my life where I wanted to keep my private life private, that I in fact wanted to talk about things in my blog that I really didn’t want to talk about with just anybody….

For whatever reason... I lost interest….

Like so many of my closest friends who because of their intellect and talent enjoyed fifteen minutes of fame through their prolific and insightful posts, I woke up one day and decided that my blogging (which was much less intellectually based or insightful than that of my friends) wasn’t filling the personal need it once did.

I decided to move on…and so I thought I had moved on…for good.

But then today I woke at my mother’s house with a thousand things to say. I wanted to talk about faith, work, life, death, friendship,  loneliness, intimacy, peace, endorphins, children, former spouses, mothers, fathers, Mormons, Catholics and Episcopalians, roommates, politics, drugs and alcohol, gay marriage, gay culture and gay prejudice, MOMs, the closet, swimming, reading, the Internet, dating, my dog, sex, anger, peace, partying, aging, music, kindness, meanness, selfishness, selflessness, and most of all…love.

But, my friends, as you will all appreciate; desire does not always translate into results…

Perhaps I will re-engage. Maybe I’ll begin to again share. Maybe I’ll reach out and successfully find a way to grapple with my life’s truth and its new found form in a way that readers might find somewhat interesting, occasionally entertaining, and possibly helpful…

Or maybe I won’t…

Only time will tell.


  1. Clive,

    I've really enjoyed what you had to say, so I hope you will say more.

  2. I, for one, hope you will continue to blog. I have learned a lot from you and from things about which you write. :-)

    And, do you know where Invictus has gone to? I also enjoyed learning from his blog, too, but apparently he has taken it underground.

    Happy night! Duck

  3. Thanks for your kind words. I'm very appreciative.

    Anonymous, IP writes an occasional post on his closed blog, but for the most part is pursuing his life privately. He is doing very well, but finds his situation one in which he prefers being outside of the limelight. I speak with him regularly and will pass your sentiments along.

    Again, thanks for your response. It means a lot.

  4. I hope you continue to blog, too. What a teasing post. I hope you get enough complimentary comments to seduce you back into the blogosphere ;).

    I also miss IP's blog! I understand the desire for privacy, but could you ask him to at least set up a separate blog to keep up most of his old posts so they're at least out there? There's a lot of good in what he's written and it's a shame to just bury it all.

  5. after several years and 225 posts I succumbed to bloggers' fatigue. It wasn't so much that I felt I had nothing more to say (every few days I think, hey, that would make for a good post), as that I needed real not cyber gay friends. I now have one (that's a start) gay friend whom I talk with periodically, and I have my gay yoga class. Also I have a two professional blogs that I decided to spend more time on. It was a good run; I'll probably come back, but not yet.

  6. After nearly six years, I'm essentially done myself... so I know the feeling. But, even occasionally it would be great to have your thoughts "voiced" in this forum. I appreciate all you've said so far and hope to receive that personal insight in the near future.

  7. Clive,
    I'd also love to hear more of what you have to say, if you want to say it.