Monday, January 10, 2011

Family trouble...again

This coming out thing is amazing, exciting, thrilling, enervating, motivating, enlightening, astonishing, liberating and so many other
wonderful things. I spend most of my day with my head in the proverbial clouds thanking God that I finally found the right time to break free and soar!

…But when it comes to family, coming out can be--well, a bitch (said reticently in a very soft whisper)...Yes, a BITCH! (screamed at the top of my lungs and I now feel so much better, thank you very much, with sincerest apologies to you SSA and SGA guys who've probably never read such language before and are, therefore, offended.)

The situation with my family has become so complicated I don't know where to actually begin (or end for that matter) so I'll just avoid the details. Suffice it to say that my relationship with my former wife and children (who are supposedly now adults)(with whom I had rarely a disagreement or argument in all our lives together) has been an emotional roller coaster ride of epic proportions. What at first seemed to be a fairly smooth transition has become an honest to goodness nightmare (yes, I dream about this ghastly situation almost every night, something out of Stephen King's world of the most terrifyingly bizarre).

Why am I telling you all of this (without telling you much at all)? Because there are moments this situation causes me to feel so lonely and isolated that I actually begin to sense the seeds of second thoughts, perhaps the beginnings of guilt and remorse, and maybe the inkling of an attempt to put everything back in the box.

But then in an instant, I remember the still small voice that led my steps, the spiritual strength that came from doing what I know to be right, the peace of conscience that makes the soul at one with the divine and, thankfully, as I remember these choice experiences, I am once again floating among the clouds.

How comforting is Christ's admonition to his apostles, "If you have faith, and doubt not, you shall say to this mountain, be you removed, shall be done." If faith can move mountains, it can surely heal wounded hearts. All will be well...


  1. It has been my experience that the first rumblings of change bring out the "best" in people. Then, as a little time goes on, and people begin examining their feelings and views, all of a sudden the proverbial gloves seem to come out, and all chaos and hell break loose. I am sorry you have to go through such hard things. I am glad you have faith and know that you have done those things for yourself, and ultimately for your family, also, that will help all of you to reach your potential.

    Sending good energy your way!

  2. Duck, thanks, and you are an angel.

  3. Thinking of you and wishing you well ...

  4. Hang in there my friend. Don't forget to stand up for yourself gently but firmly. Avoiding conflicts doesn't make it better sometimes. Write....

  5. You have to remember that everyone has eventually to go through their own version of stages of grief regardless of their initial reaction and their attitudes will change through the process. It is probably just the way they're managing through all of these changes. Give them time, that has been one of the best allies in my experience but as Joe said, do stand your ground even if that might appear like you don't care--which I know it isn't the case at all-- just takes time!