Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Please don't be a whiner....

Tonight I went on a date. As I've said in previous posts, I'm an avid dater and enjoy the whole dating scene. To me, meeting people is interesting and fun, especially when the date might just possibly turn into something special.

This evening was a first date with a guy I'd met online (yes, another one of those popular hook-up sites (please don't roll your eyes, Joey)). The guy's picture was cute, modest, and his profile, grounded. I was actually looking forward to the experience.

Anyway, the date turned out like so many I've been on recently.

As I usually suggest, we meet for a drink at Diva's on 3300 South (SHAMELESS PLUG--Diva's is the best tea house in the SL valley. If you haven't been, go, and order a sticky bun or the bread pudding. Both are to die for!)

The date and I sit down, I ask him to tell me a little about himself, and he begins a litany of complaints about his family, his roommates and his former lover. Within five minutes my eyes glaze over and I pray that one of my renters will call about a house fire, a roof collapse, or even a backed-up toilet, anything to allow me an excuse to escape gracefully.

No such luck. An hour passes before I finally work up enough nerve to say it's getting late and I still have laundry to do and I can't wait to see him again, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

Now, ladies and gentlemen, I wouldn't be writing about this incident if it were unique, an occasional experience that rarely dampens an otherwise entertaining evening. The problem is that the number of sad sacks I’ve been forced to endure lately is a lot. (There were two last week, one the week before that, and one the week before that.)

There seems to be way too many unhappy, hurt gay men out there just dying for an opportunity to vent.

Let me make a suggestion, guys: To you who are convinced that the world is a forlorn and difficult place, DON’T VENT ON A FIRST DATE!

People like me are very, very sorry for you. We’re sorry that your ex-wife is a bitch, that your employer is a jerk, that your former boyfriend ran off with his gal pal. Life is honestly rough. We can’t deny it.

But keep in mind that people like me view the first date as special, a time to see how good and kind you are, your gentle and sensitive nature, your loving and forgiving heart, your unflappable optimism and your infectious sense of humor.

Please, save the complaints for your roommates or your mother or the landlady or your stuffed dog. Don’t share them with us—-at least on the first date.

In contrast to tonight’s dreadful experience, yesterday I had a drink with a guy I met at a club last weekend. He was happy, confident, funny and caring. We shared stories, he showed real interest, and we both felt disappointed when it was finally time to go. Three hours passed in a heartbeat and HE NEVER COMPLAINED ONCE. (Actually, I enjoyed this date so much that I couldn’t help thinking about him off and on all day long—even though he’s not my type.)

And what about the guy I went out with this evening? To be honest, I’ve already forgotten his name….


  1. I agree with you- people who complain on the first date or talk about their "ex" are REALLY annoying. I must be meeting the sisters of the men you are dating because they, too, have this SAME issue. Sheesh.

  2. Don't you just love going out with positive, optimistic people!